this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
