I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
