At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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