WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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