How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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