operation harelip BJ is a go
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
