no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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