So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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