Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I can text with my tongue
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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