i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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