How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
