I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
