Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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