Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
