Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
