did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
