I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
