I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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