there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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