my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
