she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
