Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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