Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
