Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize