Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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