Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
