im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
