She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
