My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
