ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize