standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
