So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
