when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
