I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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