Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this boner is exhausting
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
