Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
