If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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