The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
