idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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