We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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