I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
