I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
