Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize