tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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