So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
