Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I want to fling myself into the sun
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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