The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
This show inspires me to have sex in space
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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