Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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