i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
