we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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