Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
