true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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