So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
How does one acquire holy water?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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