just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
