He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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