the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize