Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
