it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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