Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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