"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
They took my balls.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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