Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
