I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
