Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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