The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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